enlightning story. specifically LIGTNING!

so on the topic of friday 13ths, i would like to relate to all you ladies and germs (hah. old-school flashback laughs. up top!) of one of the strangest friday 13ths ive ever had.
i'm tempted to say "worst"...but i'll reserve that right until after today's friday 13th is over, lest it reads this post and exacts cruel, ironic revenge upon me, and make today the Worst Friday 13th Ever. because heaven knows it would be aching to have that titular title:


So a week and a bit prior to this particular Friday the 13th, I'd broken up with my grade 7 girlfriend
(more specifically: she thought i was planning to dump her, and avoided that awkwad confrontation from ever happening by dumping me first. there was this extremely sitcom-esque finale of her asking for 'an explanation', me looking dumbfounded, and her throwing my $10 Roots necklace gift to her into my face. very cheesy stuff. almost Parcheesy-levels. worst part? she broke the necklace before throwing it, so i couldn't even use it later on (can i get a hella yeah for Regifting Efficiency?). gawsh. and Roots necklaces are pretty half-decent. well, at least way back then.)

so; i was hanging aroud the school hallways with some friedns before a school dance, pretending to be cool, and hip, and fly, and oblivious to the fact we couldn't breakdance (oh, but you should have seen us fail). ex-girlfriend sidles [is that a real word? it soudns like one.] up to me and asked if i'd wanted to dance, for old time's sake or something. being the eager-to-get-anything-i-could-get teenage boy i was, i said sure, why not...

(intermission.)