Lavalife? Personal Ads? Bun Dat

Those readers who are in the category of "actors/actresses who are always only 'that one' gig away from landing on the big stage/movie set/sock puppet theatre/street corner, doing street magic/kids' birthday parties, dressed as ridiculous clowns, should best pay the closest attention - your careers are about to take off. Just like your jaws off your faces when you hear this Idea.

To those aforementioned *cough*whatawasteofmoney@actingschool*cough* people who have yet to strike it rich, there is a market you have not considered, in a medium you know only too well but have not exploited, much like the fictitious but ever-hoping-it-exists Ho Garden (note: original thought of the homophonic sound of Hoegaarden, a very tasty tasty beer. Mmm Mmmm Good.)

Say hi to Imaginary Jerry. A lonely, average-looking Joe, he wishes secretly, hope against hope, that he might find a special Someone. Rather than spend countless hours and a despicably large waste of time searching yourself, why not utilize some of the finest available (read: out-of-work) acting talent that's all around you? I say, "Imaginary Jerry, why not hire some of these actors to look and act exactly like you, and to go out into the wild with Your persona, and BAM, the process of finding 'the One' for you is expedited exponentially!" More of You going around, looking like You, acting like You? You're BOUND to find that special someone. It's simple math. And trust, you only need first-year university stats to know that much.