The 8th greatest Wonder of the World

(hint: the M _ _ E _ M ofdfdfdd M U S _ A _ S!)

EDIT: and here...we....

...GO!


The name says it all, really (because, come on, you can only have misleading ironic double entendre names so often before they lose their charm), and as thus, we continue on to the point.

The Hamilton Museum of Museums will be the pinnacle of human research, development, insight into the minds of museum directors, board members, and curators alike, from the furthest depths of the world.

Constructed in the near-soon-to-be-future, the Museum of Museums will strive to showcase some of the finest museums and gallerys that our great big world has to offer. For example, work is currently being done on the West wing of the building, housing the best that Western museums have to offer. Places such as the ROM, the Bata Shoe Museum, the AGO, the Museum of Natural History -- one can only dream of ever visiting all of these glorious places within one day!

But the boundaries of Time, Space, and nay, Matter itself, are put on hold in this Threshold of Majesty.

We are determined to bring to you the authentic museum/gallery experience that you COULD atten by traveling to each of these places; but why bother? We've already done half the work for you! Each subsection of our Museum features pamphlets, interactive computer tour guides, and yes, even tour guides themselves, directly imported from their parent Museums! Immerse yourself in the sultry teachings of a REAL French tour guide, talking to you IN French, about the illustrious and breathtaking design of the paintings of The Le Louvre. But we don't stop there, oh nono! We feature items distinctly akin to each of our Museum subsections. Featuring, for our patrons' enjoyment, the glory of the real Mona Lisa! The Missing Arms of the statue of David! The missing nose of the Great Sphinx! The Statue of Liberty's matching green undergarments! Like we said, we have done our share in bringing these marvels of our world into one place. All you have to do, is be there...here.

"MoM. Being Everywhere....And Nowhere, At All"

Settled in

Hello there, readers
Sorry for the month-or-so hiatus; as anyone could tell you, I'm not cut out for this 'blogger' business. Clearly. However, in an act of contrition (I'm fairly confident this isn't at all the correct word to use here, but it sounded nice in my mind), I've decided to keep WotB up and running, and will attempt to continue writing whatever goofy, cynical, proof-that-I-wasn't-the-brightest-kid-in-the-classroom thought meanders into my head.



Things I'm Determined to Do: complete that poem I began last near, entitled "What good is a wounded cougar?"

Lavalife? Personal Ads? Bun Dat

Those readers who are in the category of "actors/actresses who are always only 'that one' gig away from landing on the big stage/movie set/sock puppet theatre/street corner, doing street magic/kids' birthday parties, dressed as ridiculous clowns, should best pay the closest attention - your careers are about to take off. Just like your jaws off your faces when you hear this Idea.

To those aforementioned *cough*whatawasteofmoney@actingschool*cough* people who have yet to strike it rich, there is a market you have not considered, in a medium you know only too well but have not exploited, much like the fictitious but ever-hoping-it-exists Ho Garden (note: original thought of the homophonic sound of Hoegaarden, a very tasty tasty beer. Mmm Mmmm Good.)

Say hi to Imaginary Jerry. A lonely, average-looking Joe, he wishes secretly, hope against hope, that he might find a special Someone. Rather than spend countless hours and a despicably large waste of time searching yourself, why not utilize some of the finest available (read: out-of-work) acting talent that's all around you? I say, "Imaginary Jerry, why not hire some of these actors to look and act exactly like you, and to go out into the wild with Your persona, and BAM, the process of finding 'the One' for you is expedited exponentially!" More of You going around, looking like You, acting like You? You're BOUND to find that special someone. It's simple math. And trust, you only need first-year university stats to know that much.

Lame....or Casual?

"Idea:.."
I have within my possession a list of the 500 greatest quotes of all time.
And with this list, in conjunction with my juvenile six-year-old mentality of laughing hysterically at the word "poop", I plan to systematically break down, analyze, and study each and every one of these quotes....and ultimately, replace one word from each quote with the word "poop".

"[why don't you] walk a mile in my poop"

"killing two birds with one poop"

"that's one small poop for mankind"

"hammerpoop shark"

stay tuned.

Handy Dandy Secret Cult Organizer!

Introducing the most monumental, life-changing invention of them all....the K.K.K.K.
In regards to those cross-burning, bedsheet-wearing readers out there, I would like to highlight a most pressing matter; the unsatisfied need for a handy, yet equally dandy piece of equipment to help organize those annual White Power hoe-downs. The Ku Klux Klan Kalendar will absolutely revolutionize, and not to mention revitalized the spirit of secret organized minority-targeted acts of violence! White supremacy has never had an easier time organizing oppression of racial and religious minorities!

Thought of the moment

'A Streetcar Named Desire...To Kill!'

Pictogram? Picto-puzzle?

Whatever those picture-word-puzzle-hidden-meaning things are called, here's one I thought up a few days ago:
Sadly, none of my friends were able to decipher it (Dreams of making it big in the Secret-message-in-a-picture Industry crushed into oblivion in the process). I suppose it would be a little too frightening for the kids who solve these sort of things anyways, seeing a seemingly possessed pumpkin pie staring back at them. My intended cleverly-crafted response is below...








(Irate Pie = Pie + Irate = PieIrate = Pirate)
awh shucks